these little wonders
by ameize
Summary: First loves rarely last. Usually. - [Shinichi/Ran]


_**A/N:**__ I got into Detective Conan about a month ago and can I just say how much I love it? I've only reached chapter 415, though, so I'm about halfway before I catch up. But wow, Shinichi/Ran gives me so many feelings I don't know what to do with myself. They make me cry because when you think about it, their relationship is kind of tragic? She's waiting for him but he's right there, but he can't do anything to comfort her and they both end up hurting and agh._

_I just really love these two._

_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own! Which is probably for the best because I'm too stupid to come up with all those mysteries holy crap._

* * *

Ran's first love is Shinichi.

They're both eight and it happens on their way home from school. Shinichi is talking animatedly about the latest Holmes novel he's read and Ran responds with her usual disinterest. They're holding hands, but that has never been a problem. It's routine for them, something that they've done for as long as they can remember. To the two of them, it's just the way things _are_.

But somehow it's different today. Shinichi is still talking about Holmes, but as he speaks he gives her hand a light squeeze and just like that her heart stops.

There's an unfamiliar buzz flowing through her spine and Ran feels the heat crawl up her neck and flood her cheeks, the hand that is encompassed in his suddenly on _fire_. Panicking, she snaps her hand out of his grip in the middle of his sentence and quickly stammers out an excuse, telling him that she'll be fine walking home on her own and that he doesn't need to go with her all the time.

Ran doesn't notice the hurt look on Shinichi's face as he watches her leave, his small, empty hand balling into a tight fist.

* * *

Ran avoids him for the rest of the week. She sits in a different seat, plays with different people, and when it's time to go home, she's out the door as soon as the bell rings, running home as fast as her little legs will carry her.

She doesn't mean to do it. It's just that whenever she sees Shinichi her heart seems to go on overdrive. She can't think straight and her throat closes up and she feels hot _all over_. When their eyes meet, everything else looks fuzzy except for him, so she quickly looks away and focuses on something else. She ignores his attempts at getting her attention and tries hard not to see the crestfallen looks on his face when she does.

Ran feels like a horrible person. (She doesn't deserve to have Shinichi for a best friend.)

* * *

When Ran tells her mom about her dilemma, the woman laughs quietly and ruffles her hair. "Do you like being with Shinichi-kun?"

"Yes." _More than anything._

Eri nods her head and smiles warmly. "Then that's all that matters. You're still young, Ran. You don't need to worry about these things just yet."

Ran accepts her mother's advice, albeit hesitantly. "Okay…"

"Just enjoy your time with that boy. _First_ loves rarely last, and soon it'll all go back to normal."

"Really?"

Her mother smiles knowingly. "Usually."

* * *

It's Friday when Shinichi finally manages to catch her before she gets the chance to ditch him.

"I'm sorry." He says, and the words come out in a rush, so earnest and sincere that it leaves Ran more than a little bit confused. Why was he apologizing?

The boy isn't looking at her, so she understands why he doesn't notice her confusion and instead carries on with his apology. "You're mad at me, right? I'm not sure _why_," his tone is slightly frustrated and he runs a hand through his hair. "Maybe I did something. I don't know. But whatever it was, I'm sorry." He looks at her beseechingly and just like that, Ran feels like he biggest idiot in the world.

How could she do this to Shinichi?

"I'm not mad." She says honestly, laughing when he responds with a skeptical look. "I was just feeling sick and I didn't want you to catch anything." Her cheeks are heating up again, but this time she doesn't run away. "You have a soccer game coming up, right?"

Shinichi nods his head slowly, though his eyes tell her that he isn't completely convinced. Ran laughs again and takes his hand. "I feel a lot better now. Come on, let's walk home together." She drags him along, oblivious to the sudden redness of his face.

"O-okay." He stammers, and his lips slowly stretch into a small, dopey grin that she also doesn't see. They fall back into their usual routine with ease; Shinichi talks animatedly about the latest Holmes novel he's read, and Ran responds with annoyed disinterest as she's always done. She's happy, though. Being with her best friend, Ran wouldn't have it any other way.

The hand that holds his still burns, and there's a fluttering feeling in the pit of her stomach. It doesn't necessarily feel bad, though, and Ran thinks that maybe this first love stuff isn't as awful as she thought. Besides, just as her mother had said, she's sure she'll get over it in no time.

And for a while she's almost convinced. They go through elementary school and middle school together as they always have, and the raging heat that Ran had felt back then dies down into a warm, comforting flame, even though they've long since stopped holding hands. She's positive it means that she's gotten over her little crush on her best friend, and for that she is relieved. Her feelings would have only been a burden on him, and Ran wants Shinichi to be happy always.

It is only after the case in New York, on that fire escape in the pouring rain, that Ran truly realizes the extent of her feelings for her childhood friend. It is a calm, quiet realization, and as the exhaustion finally sets in and her grip slackens from his shoulders, she scolds herself for not noticing sooner, her eyelids drooping with the weight of sleep.

Ever since they were little, for as long as she can remember, Ran has probably loved him all the while.

* * *

Although it hurts, Ran is willing to wait for Shinichi forever. (She thinks it might be more than just first love.)

* * *

_**A/N:**__ And there you have it! My first Detective Conan fic! Sorry if Shinichi seems out of character, but I think that it really would trouble him if Ran was supposedly mad at him and he didn't even know why. As cocky as he probably was back in the day, he still has a good head on his shoulders._

_Until next time!_


End file.
